don't play the game
making others jump through hoops, makes you the circus
Cameron Murray
November 21, 2025
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my 2 cents: don’t play the game
a lot of my candidate preps and client feedback are focused on helping them navigate the intricacies of other humans and teaching them how to have patience for the other side of the interview aisle. helping them see why this candidate or opportunity are worth pursuing.
in those conversations, i’m often coaching them about the subtleties of the other side’s personality and how to work around it and avoid the land mines.
“they really don’t like hearing candidates say _______”
“be sure to mention career trajectory”
“i wouldn’t bring that up”
“definitely avoid that”
and the list goes on.. at the end of the day it’s all just a game and as much as i know it’s just part of life and cApiTaLiSm, that doesn’t mean i think it should be.
so, how do you quit playing the game? first, you have to stop making others play it.
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hiring managers:
interviewers… i’m mostly looking at you for this one. while candidates have their own set of unspoken expectations and dumb “rules” they expect hiring managers to follow, you’re the one with the most power/influence in the interview process.
what does the game look like for you?
expecting specific follow up types
passing on candidates for wearing the wrong shoes
the coffee cup test - seeing this a lot online
disqualifying a candidate that’s one minute late
there is a ton of validity to caring about follow ups, attire, character, time management and so-on. but thinking that small nuances are either a pass or a fail for someone’s ability to meet those needs is missing the point.
have an expectation? be clear about it
expecting candidates to understand the intricacies of your organization after reading through a JD and an ‘about us’ page is crazy. just tell them what you value.
if something is important to you, then you can say, “this is important to us.”
if you’re looking for an answer through a specific lens, “this is what I’m looking for”
skip the leading questions and the vague prompts in hopes that they “get it”. just say it.
“well i’m not going to tell them how to answer it” why not? the point of interviewing is to find someone to do a job at your company. pretty simple. so just say that.
“we’re looking for someone that can do _____. do you have specific examples of how you’ve done that?”
did they give you an answer that you didn’t understand? rather than just writing them off as a bad communicator and unfit for the role, just be honest. “hey i don’t think i’m tracking. what i’m wanting to understand is ______. can you say it again with that in mind?” it’s that simple.
now, if they’re not good then they’re not good. my point is that sometimes, the miss is on you.
if you’re approaching your interviews through any other lens than trying to understand if/how someone is a great fit for your role, then you’re not interviewing, you’re playing a game.
stop playing games.
candidates:
"i’m interviewing them as much as they’re interviewing me.”
repeat after me: “i am not in control. i am not the hiring manager.”
your job is to showcase your strengths and abilities to perform the tasks at hand. that’s it. if you’re trying to make them jump through your hoops, you’re just as much of a circus clown as they are.
just keep it simple.
have questions? i wrote a whole post on that for you
TLDR: just don’t
so how do you stop the game? by first refusing to make others play it for you.
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